We all have our D-day, a crazy, bad and difficult day, that needs to survive. A day that seems to have something against us. I pray that there will be as few D-days as possible, even though I realized that I am getting stronger from them. If I survive them, and survive such a day, that is my first task … Survive D-day
Every Day Is Hard
I think it is not incorrect to say that in the life of a single parent, every day is challenging. I would not compare it to the lives of people who are still married, because it is incomparable. And I went through both. More specifically the latter I pass daily 24/7. On the one hand, it is easier than before because I no longer have the burden of a bad and bad life, I no longer have someone with whom it was impossible to live.
Although today, after two years, someone is trying to mine my new life in all available ways, mostly through kids, that is another story. Admittedly, this adds weight to the single parenting that I build, and very often get the cargo on my challenge list. Getting to grips with your ex-husband is sometimes a straight art …
Aside from carrying the burden of a past life, the challenges of single parenting have no end. Someone might just shake their hand and make smart statements about my poor choices, the consequences I have to accept, etc. But it’s easiest to look from the sidelines, to think and to think that you know everything. Fortunately, those smart observers are now far from me and my children. Who they are watching now, I do not know and I am not concerned. Mostly I don’t even think about them. But I think about the complexity of the road I go to daily. Fortunately, not often, but when my day turns to D-day, and in that negative context, then I have no choice.
Is Not Easy
Sometimes it’s not easy, there is no one to replace me to help me when it is urgent. And there are many situations where only a clone could be in two places at the same time. About childhood sickness that comes overnight, and I don’t know what to do, not to say. And I have no idea how to handle these impossible situations at all. But luckily, sometimes just a few good people around me are enough. I call them my good spirits and only bother them if I have to because I’m used to it myself. The people around me have their lives and they cannot live mine.
I learned to paint walls, doors, screw bulbs, screws, repair drains, carry winter bags, change tires on a car … I used to think for five, that as a witch I almost predict what will happen. Not to mention an accurate to-do list for every day, because if I don’t do one thing on that list today, tomorrow is another crazy day. And there are many crazy days. It’s lucky if it’s only one day a week. If there are more, then playing octopus and running a marathon, I give up, I fall … Fortunately, only for a short while. I reset and move on. Until the next D-day, and you will survive again.
Is There A Recipe?
And there is no particular recipe for dealing with difficult days that seem to have decided to go wrong and turn upside down. The recipe for D-day is to be aware and survive it. Do not make your day worse, because the rule is that with nervousness and losing your head, things will get much, much worse. One of the tips I found most difficult was gratitude. I wondered what I was grateful to be and how right now. Only when I became aware of the blessings that were all around me and became more grateful than ever, did my life no longer seem the same.
One of the tips I received during my divorce was not to close myself and isolate myself from the world. It was great advice from an older woman who knew what she was talking about. Now I know. A single parent needs to be open to other people and communicative. Many times it was these qualities that saved me, suddenly resolved some situations that seemed difficult and that I could not easily and quickly resolve by myself.
On a difficult day, I would also put those people – rats who have no idea that if you are divorced and alone, you are not stupid. Unfortunately, there are many. I guess they think, she’s alone, she has no protection.
Wrong, because I have protection. I am my greatest protection and better guard yourself against situations where you will measure someone’s goodness with stupidity and mix one’s humanity with madness. Beware of grasping someone who has come up with so many vices. Maybe romantic comedy on TV makes me cry and grieve, but I would tear your teeth if you touched me, you take it for granted. And kids, I won’t even consider it.
What Doesn’t Kill You …
These are legacies that have left a difficult life for women like me and D-days. It is not easy, as my mother would say, but you are strengthened, eyeballed and even grateful on such days. It is not easy, it may not become, but as I said, the most important thing is that during the difficult days I became aware that somehow I survive them, everything else is easier. Black humor is also my daily routine. I’m even used to joking about days I don’t even know my name anymore. But checked bits of help.
Something also helps me to survive D-day. When I look around and see why some people get annoyed and lose their heads, I just laugh … It doesn’t occur to me to go into any discussion about who is more difficult, because it’s a waste of energy and time that I don’t have. It’s Sisyphus’ job and it’s useless. I know that everyone carries their load and thinks its the heaviest, I wouldn’t measure it, but I laugh and congratulate myself.
There are these women who need a memorial to be erected. Women who are good, hardworking, courageous, honest, who live their lives peacefully and honestly and do not complain, except when it is difficult. And the hardest part for me is when the sea of obligation falls in one day when everything goes wrong when I have no solution, I feel helpless, miserable and empty, and when human rats think that I am weak and alone, so they try to deceive me and abuse me …
Then it’s hardest to come back. To master the fact that you are alone, single, left to yourself, that you have to move on even though you think that there is not a small amount of power left in you … Well, just stop, breathe, cry, become aware, thank you, look for someone who can help you. Show your teeth to the rats, don’t forget the black humor, reset and understand, it’s only D-day. Neither the first nor the last …
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I absolutely agree with you. Spend a new day …