I was thinking about promises today. I wondered why promises were that first challenge I set for myself and my children, why I decided to teach them when they were little. I’m not quite sure I know the answer. And there may be more, which only adds to the value of this lesson. Promises – The First Thing I Taught My Kids
The Promise Must Be Fulfilled
Today I promised my son to take him out for pizza and cake. He was good at school, he helped me with some housework and the promise was to be fulfilled. I was too tired and the last thing I wanted to do was to go outside. And for the fourth time today … but it would be the first time that I did not fulfill my promise to my children. I shouldn’t have allowed it. And it was this situation that somehow made me smile and now, a few hours later, the smile does not come off my face as I write this. He is happy, I am pleased … a promise fulfilled. And I’m still not sure what exactly made this so important. But let’s think …
Times Of Empty Promises
We live in a time when the people around us often promise us a lot, and rarely fulfill their promises. Things that should be included in everyday of our lives are becoming rarities, and those that are not welcome have become every day. I don’t know if that prompted me to teach my kids that promises are one of the most important things in life. Breaking promises has become a sport today.
I don’t know how my ex-husband felt, promising me for years that he would change, but given that the epilogue was a divorce, I can only assume. I know how I felt. Defeated, betrayed, deceived. On the other hand, in fulfilling my promises, I was even more dedicated to teaching my children how important it was.
The people I worked for also told empty stories, to seemingly motivate me to do my best. And I was doing my best, not for them, but for myself. And their motivation generally came down to being verbal and insufficient. Promises would blow in the wind, and my culture and upbringing were often not allies to me, as they inhibited me from intending to tell them everything and letting them know that I was not stupid.
Promises that were not fulfilled were given to me by some friends too. They are now ex. Because friends don’t do that. And by the time you realize that all justifications are bad excuses, it takes a long time.
Everything Moves Out Of The House
Some lessons should be learned about life in the family circle while we’re still little. And examples help the most while learning. Sometimes I wondered if my parents had made a mistake somewhere and I doubted their methods of upbringing. But luckily, I realized how much they did for me and how grateful I was for them. And it influenced my kids’ desire to see how important it was. I don’t know if the promises were made by themselves, or life experiences have influenced it… it doesn’t matter that much.
Promises have a lot to do with children’s persistence to be promised certain things, to make sure that they are fulfilled. Children want to be sure that they will get what they want, and they are relentless in that regard. Sometimes we are not even aware that these little creatures and smart little heads are tempting us daily …
The learning came about by promising them only the things I was sure I could fulfill. Sometimes these were just little things, sometimes big things. For those I knew beforehand I wouldn’t be able to fulfill, I wouldn’t even promise. If I was not sure, then I would tell them openly, and then we would look forward to a sudden turn together.
Why Do People Make Empty Promises?
It will never be clear to me why people do this. First, it’s unclear why you promise something you know you can’t fulfill or you’re not sure you can. Second, how do you feel about promising and not fulfilling? Third, what do you think it feels like to have expected that something, and in the end, it is nothing and nothing is “thanks to you”?
Very often, I was among those who were “waiting for Godo” and the feeling was very miserable, and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I guess it was my wish that my children never experience this kind of betrayal. From me and not grow into people who could betray others tomorrow. It is important to believe in success!
I have repeatedly convinced myself that you can talk to your children, but until you show them by example, it is worth nothing. I would never trade their happiness, joy, smiles, confidence built for nothing.
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