How To Survive A Bad Divorce In 3 Steps?

So many times I was wondering how to survive a bad divorce, and I have the answer now, when everything is over. I’m really glad that I was, without even realizing, following these few steps that I’m going to write about today. How To Survive A Bad Divorce In 3 Steps?

How To Survive A Bad Divorce In 3 Steps?

Divorce Is Not Always The Easiest Solution, As Many People Think

People usually try to be smart and say that divorce is the easiest solution. Interesting part is that those who are not married and who know nothing about divorce, usually say something like that. After a painful divorce and a difficult experience, which I shared with you in some earlier texts, today I have a desire to talk a bit more about how divorce sometimes can be the hardest path.

Divorce can be extremely difficult. It is best to trust yourself and do everything to realistically accept the situation and get ready for the steps that follow. But zou have to know that it’s not always possible to “get ready” , because you don’t know what awaits you. And somewhere, along the way, you realize that divorce is literally survival. But what is certain, if you survive and learn few important things, life will finally become easier …

How To Survive A Bad Divorce In 3 Steps?

Step One – Accept The Fact That Your Marriage Was Bad, You Made A Bad Choice And That It Is The End

One of life’s biggest challenges and stresses is divorce. What is most difficult for us is to accept the fact that our marriage was bad, that it is over, and that our love was not one of those for a lifetime. I don’t know is it because we chose to believe in fairy tales, or because of our toxical environment… However, it’s not easy.

We all strive for pure love and strive to believe in love that lasts forever. Sometimes, in the sea of ​​uncertainty, we strive for something certain. But when our aspirations and reality meet, the hardest thing is to accept that everything was an illusion. Why? Because we feel fundamentally shaken. And then, all of the sudden, we start doubting ourselves, our reasoning, choices, art… We start creating our own insecurities.

In the meantime, you realize that so much dies with one divorce. Therefore, all of us who have suffered divorce it is not surprising that it’s also called “small death”.

How To Survive A Bad Divorce In 3 Steps?

Step Two – Survive All The Abominations That Divorce Brings And Stay Alive

On the other hand, all the worst traits appear, and they seem much worse than they were during the marriage. Sometimes it seems like the opposite side wants to “impress” by playing dirty… Why? Because it’s hard for those who are left to accept the fact that you don’t want them anymore, that you’re leaving them, and that it’s over. Some people will never forgive you for that.

Their behavior is the behavior of a wounded beast that is taking revenge. Anyone who has gone through the vicious circle of accusation, shifting responsibility, finding the culprit, violence, whether mental or physical, separating children, under the game of the opposite side, low blows, abuse, will know very well what I am talking about.

And the hardest thing is that you have to do it yourself, and no one can tell you how. You have to survive. Therefore, in those moments, the brain must function unmistakably, and all intellectual resources must be put into operation.

There is a possibility that you will think that you cannot endure … But everything passes. And to pass as painlessly as possible, it’s important to surround yourself with family and friends and do everything to save yourself. And in every sense, mentally and physically. If you need help, ask for it.

The people we surround ourselves with are our help in times when our reasoning is changing because of emotions and pain. It’s true that in everything bad, there must be something good, and divorce is a good filter for the people around us. Those few good people struggled with me and saved me. Because at certain points of divorce, which were like movie scenes, it was truly difficult to respond normally to abnormal situations, and there were many of them. Their help in those moments is immeasurable.

How To Survive A Bad Divorce In 3 Steps?

Step Three – Forgive And Keep Living

How many times have I heard from my mother – Well, you can’t even divorce him! Or: “You are divorced and how does it help you, when you can’t get rid of that fool?!” Why? Well because we have children. And children need to be looked after and protected, even when someone openly uses them to take revenge. And all that has to be endured and arranged. Only the moment you realize that your strongest weapon is not reacting to provocations and that it will be your new model of behavior, then it will be easier.

Later you learn to be the most tolerant and best person in the world and in situations where that seems impossible. But you know you have to because of the children, because of yourself, your future, your life. Otherwise, you’re stuck in a divorce purgatory and you can’t move on. And you have to live. You have to forgive yourself and others. If not for them, then for yourself. And then continue to build a life with “I” instead of “we”.

You need to go back to yourself, your needs, desires, dark and bright sides, your strength, skills, and creativity. You need to take control of your life again. For that moment of self-knowledge and enjoyment with your children, it’s worth enduring everything…

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