How to say NO to your kids and make it sound like a YES? Sometimes it’s so hard to look at those cute eyes that look down on us so pleadingly and tell them NO. Many times we have just given up, thinking we were doing both the kids and ourselves a favor, and it was just the opposite. How To Say NO To Kids And Make It Sound Like A YES?
How To Say NO To Your Kids And Make It Sound Like A YES?
Easy. The next time those eyes look at you pleadingly and charm you, think carefully about whether it’s worth saying YES and giving in or whether you should act as you think you should at that moment. And we know how to proceed, in most cases.
We are accurately and unmistakably aware when we do the right thing. The only question is whether we are ready for it and how much it costs if we are not. But this right conduct does not necessarily mean child dissatisfaction if we learn to act wisely. And we can do it if we want. That sometimes means answering the question of how to say NO to your kids and make it sound like a yes…
WHY say NO to your kids and make it sound like a YES?
Because it’s very important for both, the child and us. If we give in every time, it doesn’t work. But we shouldn’t repeat the infamous NO every time we think about it. Being wise and persistent is not easy, but every true parent must patiently raise their child.
So, first, we learn what to say to the child so that he does not feel rejected. Then we apply it and admire the results over time. And they will not miss out. What is great is that it’s possible to apply some tips to different or even some new situations. And there are many of them in parenting. When you know you have a functioning system, everything is easier.
Children are like little sponges that everything absorbs perfectly. And when they hear alternative ways of saying NO, guided by example, they will want to do the same. They will forget short and negative words. Conversation, impressions, explanations, agreement, reasoning, these are all great parenting tools that help a lot.
Let’s Find Out The Tips
How to say NO to your kids and make it sound like a YES …
– I have an even better idea
If the child is doing something inappropriate or wants to, there is a new opportunity to say NO, but differently. Let’s say if a child wants to jump around the apartment and make a lot of noise and fuss, the alternative is something that won’t produce as much noise and suggest it to him right away. Cheerfully tell your child that you have an even better idea and thus invisibly prevent him from doing things you don’t want him to do.
– I’ll show you how it’s done, and then you try
This is one sentence that will surely help in situations that are really often with children. These are mostly situations where children want to participate in something we do and don’t know how to do it. The children then most likely make a mess that imposes an unnecessary to-do list. This usually happens in the kitchen, the child wants to participate and be useful. Don’t restrain him, show him how something is done and let the child try. Again, we skillfully avoided the NO.
– I know how much you want it, so we’re adding that to our wish list
This is a good way for a child to learn to postpone pleasure and that things don’t have to happen right away in order to make us feel good. Sometimes just a little cooperation between us and our little ones is enough to avoid embarrassing situations and gain mutual trust. This is an ideal sentence in situations where a child wants something you can’t afford at the time or just isn’t the moment. Whether it’s things like toys or going somewhere, a trip, or something like that. At the same time, you have received a list of things or experiences that mean a lot to your little one, and you will have a list of ideas to make him happy for a birthday or a holiday. This is a winning combination for everyone.
– I feel the same way you do
When a child wants to go outside, but it’s raining, say that you also want to go outside. Then tell them how wonderful it would be to go out and how it will be as soon as it stops raining. Tell your child the whole story of how wonderful it will be outside and what you will do together as soon as the rain stops. Tell them about the enjoyment and feelings of going out together. Kids love stories with lots of details and explanations with emotions, so do your best and be imaginative. The child will not only be satisfied but also surprised because they will realize that your feelings are the same. They’ll also have a lot of fun. And here’s a great way how to say NO to your kids and make it sound like a YES.
– Watch out now, it’s tickling time!!
Sometimes laughter and jokes are a great approach to solving a problem, especially at a time when children are irritable. Children love fooling around and laughing, they also love when parents are enterprising… distraction and cooperation… After tickling and fooling around, the child will be in a changed mood and it will be much easier for him to reach what you want to say. And again, NO was left out.
– That’s a great idea, we’ll do it later
This recipe applies to many situations in which you want to postpone some of your child’s desired activity. When a child wants to go out during dinner or at bedtime, the natural reaction is NO. But instead of NO, it’s better to say something else. That’s a great idea, we’ll go out right after eating or sleeping. The child will feel good because he knows that he has received confirmation that his wish will be fulfilled. He didn’t even notice that he would wait for his wish to come true for a while. At the same time, he will be motivated to finish everything he needs to, so he could play.
– Let’s think about it
If the child has done something wrong, instead of shouting NO, call him over, sit him next to you and say this sentence. Let’s think about it a bit – is an introduction to the story that will follow and which will explain to the child that such behavior is wrong. This applies in situations where children start arguing or pushing on the playground. Also, if they throw things around, play with food… The most important thing is for the child to understand the difference between good and bad behavior. This can be applied to situations where the child wants something he or she does not need or already has, most often when it comes to toys.
– I don’t understand you when you cry and when you’re excited, try to calmly explain to me
The greatest motivation for children is to understand and comprehend their words, feelings, and desires. So expect the child to try to calm down, to explain to you what happened and how he feels. After the conversation, the child will be calmer and will understand that you have understood and comforted him, and that is sometimes the most important thing to him. Maybe even more important than what happened. And we know when children cry – when they get hurt, someone hurts them, when they are denied something, they get scared…
– Let’s do it later, but double!
If the child asks to watch a cartoon during the holidays, ask him if he wants one now or two or three later. This also works when taking sweets when it’s not time for them. This is a recipe in which the child does not even dream that someone has rejected him and everyone is satisfied. Also, healthy habits are created and maintained. Once again a helpful way to say no to your kids and make it sound like a yes.
– We’ll talk when we get home
Sometimes we are not sure which of our answers to a child’s question would be best. If we are out or over a friend’s house, it’s best to give ourselves more time to think in more detail about the answer. This works best with school-age children but sometimes works with younger children too. When you get home, do what you said, and be sure to stay consistent and talk to your child about it.
– We should be gentle with animals, flowers and all living beings
If you catch a child harassing a pet, don’t shout NO. Explain to the child that this creates pain. This will help the child to create empathy and awareness of the feelings of other living beings. This is a great way for a child to learn to treat living beings, but also the world and nature as a whole, with respect. And the best explanation is the question – How would you feel if someone did that to you? It’s also good to mention how dangerous the consequences of such behavior can be.
Is This Effective?
It’s normal that neither, we nor our children are always up to the task, and that sometimes the tips will work the first try, sometimes not. The fact that each child is a small individual with their own needs is also important. But that doesn’t mean they should be allowed to do whatever they want. Especially if we are aware of the fact that what they are doing is not good for them at a given time or in the long run.
Boundaries must exist precisely because it’s for their good. What we know, and they don’t know, is the reason. This reason is sometimes difficult to explain to them. That is why you need to be wise and a real diplomat to react in an advocacy way. A wise parent knows exactly how to transform a NO into a sentence that will sound completely different to a child, and spare us scenes, violent children’s reactions, or dissatisfaction. And each of our NO’s cause negative emotions in children.
Bad Sides Of Using NO Too Often
Over time, children themselves begin to use their NO’s. For example, when they don’t share their toys, when they don’t want to share their snack or when they don’t let anyone approach them… And then real small wars are fought with these children. Therefore, to teach them to express their emotions and feelings instead of a short NO, it’s good that we do the same.
And that means a lot more time, effort, and dedication. If we take into account that the average child (at least that’s what experts say) says NO 400 times in just one day, we should not be surprised by their behavior. Because it’s annoying, irritating, and makes you do exactly what that prefix says – NO. Why? Well, it’s simple, because almost every child’s intention, desire, effort, and opportunity are impossible.
For The End
On the other hand, it’s clear that every normal parent is responsible for their child and wants them to be happy, confident, and self-respecting. Sometimes a NO is inevitable and it’s inevitable to stand behind it, but very often that NO is a sign of parental disengagement, disinterest, laziness, and immaturity to the role we are in.
Therefore, do not say NO to your children often, but when you do, then adhere to it and act as you said. This is a very important lesson about how a child will look at you and respect you. He will also find ways to reciprocate in the way that happy and satisfied children know best.
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