Every parent’s dream is to have a child that listens to them. And the most common question is – How to get a child to listen? There are situations where this seems almost impossible, but it’s not actually like that. If it becomes a practice, then you have a problem. Because children’s disobedience, as if by inertia, grows and multiplies if you don’t recognize it on time. And then it gets harder… How To Get A Child To Listen? Only 3 Steps?
Every Child Is A Story For Themselves
It’s true that as we teach our children, we are learning how to approach them while upbringing them. Each child is a story for themselves and that’s the truth and perhaps the greatest challenge of parenting. But it’s also true that the child has to listen to us. Teaching children to follow instructions and to listen to us will help them one day to function and be successful in their environment, including home, school, sports, work. And if it’s not successful on the first try, it should not be discouraged, because there is a way for every child to calm down and a way to listen to what we tell him.
In the colorful path of parenting, it’s important HOW to teach children to listen and what the atmosphere in our home is like. Every parent needs to move from themselves, their consistency, calmness, routine, and communication. Also, good mutual communication is welcomed among all household members.
If these conditions are fulfilled, it’s much easier to get the child to listen to us. Whatever the child’s personality and character, and however unique our approach may be, we must start from somewhere. And there are universal tips that, as parents, can greatly facilitate our parenting challenge.
How To Get A Child To Listen In Only 3 Steps?
It’s very important to teach children to listen to us and follow the instructions we give them. Both for peace in the home but also for the life that awaits them outside their home – going to kindergarten, school… And then later to participate in groups, teams, and work environments. Put on your slippers, get your toys clean, get your cars off the table, make your bed, brush your teeth, change…
These are just some of the instructions and requests we make every day for our kids, but they don’t always listen to us. Some children are almost impossible to cooperate with and who seem to not hear what we are saying to them. They simply act as if we have not said anything or as if they have not heard. And this can also become a problem for children’s safety since most of the instructions to children relate to their safety and well-being.
The next 3 steps are very important they require patience and reflection as well as other educational methods.
Formulate your expectations and instructions briefly, clearly, and according to your child’s age.
It’s important here to make eye contact and provide a short and clear instruction and timeline. It is then important to wait for the child to confirm, to make sure he understands us. If we are talking to the child and we haven’t gave them a clear instruction, the child knows that there is time and will wait for us to get upset and start yelling. This shouldn’t allow that. The task should be done immediately, without delay or within the agreed time.
Ideally, the child will come back and tell us that he has completed his task. If that does not happen and the child does what he is asked to do, great. When we give the child a brief and clear instruction, they will know exactly when and what needs to be done and what will happen if it doesn’t get done.
Be consistent and persistent.
When we instruct a child to do something, we have some expectations. The child needs to understand this as soon as possible. Also, we need to talk to the child about the negative consequences and to warn him. Because the warning allows the child the opportunity to correct the behavior before punishment. Penalty for disobedience may not be one of his basic needs, but it can certainly be a denial of some of his children’s privileges.
The goal is not to make the child afraid, but to understand that disobedience will not be rewarded. That is why it’s important to persevere and be persistent. If the child doesn’t obey, then you should be consistent about executing the punishment. This is precisely the way for the child to understand which behaviors are desirable and which are not. Kids are real masters at exploiting our inconsistency. The more consistent we are as parents, the easier it is for our children to follow us. Clear warnings let the child know that we are serious and consistent in our actions and that they should obey.
Reward the child when he or she does something right and as required.
Just as there must be a penalty for disobedience, so should there be a reward for obedience and a task well done. When it comes to rewarding, it’s not material things, toys, sweets. The child reward is praise. The praise of behavior and effort, as well as gratitude to the child, will mean a lot. “Thank you for …”, “You are wonderful, you did a great job …”, “I’m very proud because you…”, “Well done, sweetie…”
Positive parental empowerment is a strong motivator for children, and displaying pride and approval can encourage a child to adopt and repeat such behavior. Positive reinforcements and consequences for adhering to the rules and obedience are ideal motivations for the child. The best reward is praise, gratitude, expressing pride, highlighting positive qualities. Rewards for good behavior over time can be more significant, such as trips to nature, a new cartoon, longer playing time on the playground …
Experts agree that one of the first and primary drivers of children disobedience is that we give them lots of time, which is inconsistent and nerve-wracking. Specifying the time given to your child to do something, being consistent, and staying calm in problematic situations is very important. Children “read” and skillfully use our feelings of frustration, anger, anxiety or doubt. They pay more attention to our mood than what we say. On the other hand, parents who remain calm are many times more likely to succeed for their children to understand and listen to them. In the absence of tumultuous emotions with parents, children subconsciously transcribe the calm mood of their parents and are much clearer with the instructions their parent gives them. This is how educated parents and those who have convinced themselves that it helps act.
You Can Try This Too…
In the end, one piece of advice that has helped me more than any expert’s advice and it may not make sense to someone. It happened by chance, and with desire to make the child understand why it was ugly to disobey the parent. But also because children like to show you what you want to explain to them by example. Specifically, try not to listen to your children for some time as much as they do to you, give them back the same measure.
Then calmly ask them how they feel, although I think they will express their feelings immediately and without question. Slowly explain what you did and why you did it so the child can understand the point – why it’s important to listen. Of course, this should not become routine and does not address the basic needs of children, but it will certainly have an effect. Also, the child must be old enough to understand this.
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