A few days ago, I promised to bring you the most important rules of Maria Montessori that each of us should know in to be a better parent. And these are not difficult rules that we already have and that have complicated the world enough. These are rules that are so closely related to our souls and our natural development that it is a wonder that we resist them so much. How To Be A Better Parent? – Montessori Rules
I’ve been thinking a lot about parenting lately, especially after my divorce. I had a huge desire to keep my children protected, happy, not to have their confidence shaken, to remain complete. And at the same time, I didn’t want to go wrong somewhere. It was enough that we were already wounded by the divorce and the problems that followed it.
It has happened to me many times in the past that I think intensively about something, I want to know more about it and then something comes up in my life. So it was with Montessori.
Being A Parent – Life’s Biggest Challenge
I realized long ago that being a parent was my biggest challenge in life. If someone asked me what was my most difficult and important life task, I would say without thinking – to be a parent. I tend to take life sometimes too seriously, probably because of the many difficult life moments. But if you are otherwise responsible, disciplined and normal, if you want to have satisfied and happy children and be just as happy and proud parents, then you have to learn every day.
We have been entrusted the life we need to preserve, nurture, shape, give the best of us. And if we do not know how to do it, then we are learning every day to give the child only the best, because it is our responsibility. Only when we know that we have done everything, then we can be calm and know that we are parents for a medal.
As soon as I met with Montessori, I realized what many parents were doing wrong. Those who do not respect the child’s interest, who plan instead for the children, who do the work for them, who do not allow the child to develop, are the parents who violate the basic principles of Montessori pedagogy.
Maria’s Rules For Better Parenting
Reading “The Absorbent Mind” and material written by Maria, I realized that this Italian was a very wise and smart woman, who went a few steps ahead of her own time, and perhaps ours, and who designed the whole small world. The world she created is simple and clear, her rules are short and easy to remember, and the results are great. When I think of the mindset of several people who lived in the 20th century, led by this great woman, a sense of admiration overwhelms me.
The Most Important Rules
Children learn from what surrounds them
The first three years of life are crucial for overall development. The child absorbs everything that surrounds him/her. Therefore, the child should be able to freely express the basic psychic needs for movement, order, language, and love.
If we criticize a child often, we are teaching him to condemn others.
If we praise a child often, we teach him to evaluate others around him/her. Prizes and commendations were classified by Maria as the domain of the child’s work and dealing with something, as well as successful completion. It is considered that the child’s satisfaction with his/her job is his/her best reward and he does not need additional praise.
Children should be respected when they make mistakes
This is the best way to correct mistakes. Respect is the basis of a relationship. That will result in a clear and healthy attitude towards the environment in the future. It should be understood that mistake is an inevitable part of the learning process. In process child solves obstacles, corrects mistakes and learns. It is also important to be free to deal with the things he wants. That’s because it means that he will be dedicated to what he/she is doing, and that is very important.
If a child lives in a friendly atmosphere and feels they need others, they will learn how to find love
A friendly atmosphere and encouragement, as well as respect for the right to choose, respect for children’s interests, will result in a fulfilled child. Kid’s confidence will be at a high level. The frustrations will be unknown to them.
With daily support, the child will be confident
We have to get the child on hand for everything he/she does and help him/her to master them. Attachment, peace, love, encouragement, observation of children’s spontaneity and exploratory behavior. Why observation? Because this recognizes periods of childhood sensitivity, which are time-limited. If he/she responds on time, then the child will master certain skills with ease, without fatigue and cheerfully.
When a child needs help, it would be good if we were ready to help. Also, when we are no longer needed, it is best to take shelter.
If a child begs for help, attention, or asks for an answer to a question, then we need to answer it. But help does not mean that we do things for him. Let’s remember – Help me do it myself! This is the main motto and key sentence of the whole Montessori story. It indeed takes a lot more time than doing something instead of the child, but in the long run, it is better because the results are more lasting and the child is happier because it has only managed to overcome the difficulty.
Always behave nicely in front of your child
Parents should show their children daily on how to be the best person they can be. A good example is the only one that will convince a child of something. We can talk as much as we want, but if our actions go beyond our words, in vain. Being a good example to a child, watching how we behave, treating others, the environment, the child, is the basis of his future behavior. Mary used to say that it is difficult for an adult to change, so one has to start with a child.
Work On Ourselves And Children Everyday
Sometimes all of us as humanity, not just exceptions or parents, need to ask ourselves why the ideas of women who were revolutionary in the 20th century are pure avant-garde and now in the 21st. What does this say about humanity?
But here’s what we have left in the meantime (I think of us parents who want to give our maximum and be better parent) is to continue to work on ourselves and our children. That’s important, however difficult it may be in an environment that is accustomed to doing otherwise. It is great luck to have someone to learn from. Lucky looks at your child and feels warmth and happiness because you are aware that you have done just about everything. All a caring parent can do to make their kids proud of everyone!
“The truth about life is safe as gravity: to live fully, we must learn to use things and love people… not to love things, and use people” – Maria Montessori.
Maria Montessori To All Of Us – For Better Parent
Children learn from what surrounds them.
If we often grumble, the child learns how to condemn others.
Praising a child teaches him/her to appreciate others.
If we show hostility toward the child, they will learn to fight.
Being honest with the child will lead to his or her sense of righteousness.
If you often make fun of a child, it becomes shy.
The child’s safety teaches him/her to trust people.
If we say too often to a child, “Shame on you,” he/she will learn to always feel guilty.
Encouraging a child gives him or her confidence.
The child needs to have a friendly environment, as this is how they will learn how to find love.
Never talk badly about a child, whether in or out of his/her presence.
Concentrate on developing well in your child. So there will be no room for bad.
Always listen and answer a child’s question or request if it is addressed to you.
Respect child even when he/she makes a mistake. So he/she will be able to correct mistake very quickly.
An important parenting task is to always be close when needed and to get away when unnecessary.
Let’s help kids master things early. Let’s make sure that the world around child is full of love, peace, positivity.
Always treat your child nicely. Show him/her how to become the best person he/she can be.
Respect a child who is resting, observing other children’s activities, or thinking about something that worked. Don’t talk to kid or push him/her to any other activity.
Read more about the Montessori method of education in my text https://single-moms-way.com/montessori-help-me-do-it-myself/
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