Many people say that after a loved one’s death, divorce is the hardest thing to get over. It takes time to understand that one chapter of life is behind you and that in an altered form, whether you like it or not, you need to move on. It’s clear why it’s not easy, why it hurts so much, and why it takes time to make things easier again. Divorce And How To Survive It?
So, give yourself time … The truth is, some people get divorced for a trifle, but some wait too long, while only a few are aware of the right moment, knowing that things won’t change much tomorrow.
Go, Don’t Wait
If the only right option for continuing your life is divorce, then don’t be afraid and don’t wait, no matter how difficult it may be. Grit your teeth and go through it. And do not lie to yourself to delay the divorce because of the children, because they will judge you tomorrow when you are not able to answer them the questions “Why did you allow yourself to live like this” and “Why did you not do something”.
There is no easy way to tell them that you are getting a divorce. Point. Find your own, say it, explain it… And keep in mind that children deserve happy parents, just as you deserve to be happy.
It Won’t Be Easy
Whether you wanted a divorce or you were imposed, it will be difficult and you will be vulnerable and hurt. Maybe you will lose confidence, faith in life, in yourself. You have to give yourself time to get over and find a new self, no matter how long it takes. It’s better to take longer than to blame yourself for hurting and hurrying. It’s just extra pressure you won’t need at all. On the contrary, it will threaten to break you.
Step by step, you will establish a mental, emotional and spiritual balance and begin a new chapter of life. Recovery after divorce is an emotionally demanding and difficult period that requires a lot of awareness, attention, patience and, faith in yourself and life. That’s good to know because you’ll understand yourself.
Remove All Pressures From Yourself
People, who will try to offer you reasons to stay married, wipe off the rubber band because they are not friends. People who are in a hurry and do not let you get over peace also leave it somewhere on the sidelines because they are hard and you do not need them. Not now…
The pressure of life is enough. You don’t need a bigger one.
No questions like, “Why did this happen to me?”, “Where did I go wrong?”, “Was there anything else I could do?”, “Will I be able to do it myself? ” – will not help you. On the contrary, you will only waste a lot of time in vain. Because if it could have been different, it would not be where you are today.
Consider that by the way, you will lose a few people, mutual friends, those who would like to judge you, who took the other side or belong to it, but let them. Move on.
It takes a great deal of courage to decide to divorce and to organize a new life for yourself and your children. Especially if you got out of the marriage with nothing. I am talking about material things.
Start Over – Again
Building a life from scratch is difficult, but forcing yourself to step out of your comfort zone and do things you thought was impossible can prove to be the best decision of your life.
So it’s not easy to draw a line and realize it’s the end, but that end is your only chance to start again. Remember. It is better to suffer for a couple of years than for a lifetime. No one deserved it.
What will be inevitable in a divorce is to love yourself a lot, please yourself, and not just think about others and their needs. It is true, for someone that it may seem selfish, but it is not. Because only you are strong, you will be good to yourself and others.
When it comes to others, remember that you have to open up, not close up, let the people around you help you, and don’t think you have to do everything yourself, because you’re not a superman, you’re an only human. With a few good people around you (I like to call them my good spirits) you will recover much faster.
What you cannot influence is the fact that you are no longer part of a normal family, that things with your ex-spouse around children will not be easy, that sometimes your children will miss you, that sometimes you will cry and not cry, but that is okay.
There are a few other important things, but not many people will tell you about them. Children will resent you if you talk badly about their father in front of them. No matter what, he is their father. Also, children will occasionally choose and change sides, so don’t take it too seriously. But trying to always be honest with your kids will help a lot. It will help you and them.
Let The Bad Be The Past
There is one saying that a good divorce is better than a bad marriage. I cannot say that in my case because the divorce was awful, painful and difficult. It lasted a long time. It was a dirty fight that I barely survived.
But what I can say today is that it is a better bad divorce than a bad marriage. This first thing eventually ends, but the second …
And then, as time goes by and when you manage to see the past from a distance, everything will be much clearer to you. You may wonder what you called marriage and wonder how you could have endured it. But so it goes, one by one the thing you accept, hoping that this is the end, and the end, in the end, is mostly a divorce. And most often when things go too far.
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